Do Not Microwave Your Dirty Sponge or You Will be a Sad Person

Are you a sad person? Is it because you microwaved your sponge? I know most of you cried out with  resounding “YES!” to both those questions, so I’ll just cut to the chase. If for by some reason you answered “no” to the second question, which I know is highly unlikely, then I’m going to dispense… More Do Not Microwave Your Dirty Sponge or You Will be a Sad Person

Ok Cupid 

I unintentionally joined a dating site and I already feel ashamed about it. I signed up originally to look at the format first hand, so I made my profile picture Enrico Palazzo (aka Frank Drebin from The Naked Gun) and answered all the questions with “singing the Star Spangled Banner.” Unfortunately, the admins quickly realized… More Ok Cupid 

Peanuts and Tomatoes

Hey clam sauces, I was thinking today about my new phrase, “peanuts and tomatoes, amiright?!”  It’s a great way to impress your friends with this hit phrase that means “same difference.”  The origin? I feel the same way about peanuts as I do tomatoes. I’m also an idiot.  BUT hear me on this. I don’t… More Peanuts and Tomatoes

FEET

I finally finished Six Feet Under and now I’m depressed. I don’t know where to go from here. I finished the X-Files, Twin Peaks, The Sopranos, and now I’m just sitting here just me and my acid reflux gurgling at the blank TV screen. I started the L Word but I think I accidentally ruined… More FEET