Hey childrens, This week in Things I Have Done to Injure Myself in Dramatic and Stupid Ways, I nearly got my arm chopped off. While I was trying to tuck my giant desk-sized coloring books behind the couch and the wall, I dropped them from too high up and the force made them slide a… More My Arm Almost Came Off and I Lived to Tell the Tale
Are you a sad person? Is it because you microwaved your sponge? I know most of you cried out with resounding “YES!” to both those questions, so I’ll just cut to the chase. If for by some reason you answered “no” to the second question, which I know is highly unlikely, then I’m going to dispense… More Do Not Microwave Your Dirty Sponge or You Will be a Sad Person
Boss got you down with his latest fribble-frabble nonsense boss talk? “You’ve been 20 minutes late every day to work but still put down your overtime when you work 5 minutes passed close.” *ZOOM * YES AND? Your boss will be so taken back by your leadership skills, he’ll blankly stare at you (obviously impressed)… More “Yes And” Your Way to a Promotion*†!
I unintentionally joined a dating site and I already feel ashamed about it. I signed up originally to look at the format first hand, so I made my profile picture Enrico Palazzo (aka Frank Drebin from The Naked Gun) and answered all the questions with “singing the Star Spangled Banner.” Unfortunately, the admins quickly realized… More Ok Cupid
Hi Zuchinni puffs, I’m turning to you. THIS SATURDAY I am signed up to walk in Boston’s Avon 39 Walk to End Breast Cancer. I have to raise $1800 to participate. I’m currently at $1609. I NEED YOUR HELP! I’m less than $200 away from my goal and I have ONE DAY. If you have… More LAST CALL! (Don’t make me beg.)
I finally finished Six Feet Under and now I’m depressed. I don’t know where to go from here. I finished the X-Files, Twin Peaks, The Sopranos, and now I’m just sitting here just me and my acid reflux gurgling at the blank TV screen. I started the L Word but I think I accidentally ruined… More FEET