“Too Personal”

Another rejected list. Too personal? Puh-shaw, asshole-y intestines are a common problem.

Quotes Plastered Around My Gym’s Wall and My Immediate Reactions

TRAIN HARD OR GO HOME.

“Mom, I’m home! Ooh Spongebob Mac&Cheese, my favorite. ”

MAKE YOUR SOMEDAY TODAY.

“Make your sundae today? Mmm sundaes.”

LEAVE NOTHING IN THE TANK.

“Oh, I did that one! My $300-a-month membership leaves me little to no money for my tank. I walked here. Are those my feet that are bleeding?”

A GIRL KNOWS HER LIMITS, A WISE GIRL KNOWS SHE HAS NONE.

“That piece of intestine hanging out of my asshole? That’s for bitches. Watch me bench press this 5lb box of Twizzlers.”

YOU CANNOT OUT TRAIN A BAD DIET.

“HA. How dare you underestimate my ability to create an algorithm that produces the number of miles , rounded to the nearest hundredth, needed to run to maintain my weight on a diet of  Funyons and Coke. Frankly, I’m insulted.”

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