Hey friends!

As none of you may know, I got all 5 of my wisdom teeth (devolving)  pulled out this past week. I was prescribed Oxycodone and have been laying in bed eating chocolate frappes for a continuous 48 hours. In that time I’ve compiled a list of the obscure food I’ve been craving. The items on this list could only be a result of  Oxycodone ingestion or immaculate conception. Enjoy.

1) McDoubles. Mounds and mounds of McDoubles all over my body. No pickles, extra onions.

2) Chef Boyardee Beefaroni. On top a piece of bread that has been slathered in sea salted butter.

3) Waffle fries smothered in cheese from a carnival located on a pier.

4) Bark from the north side of a Oak tree, sprinkled with the dandruff of a wood nymph named Alice.

5) A broken light bulb with some apricot preserves liberally applied to the outer side.

These are about 47% true, but then again I was home-schooled.