My Toe is Hanging Off

Hey squeaples.

A couple months ago I got involved with a roller derby team.

Not romantically, but they were having some clinics for skaters to learn new tricks and skills.

I went, I fell on my ass, and I had an awesome time.

After a few hours on your skates, your feet can get pretty numb. If they are too tight or if they haven’t been broken in much they can feel like vice grips.

My feet felt pretty crappy a few days after, but I didn’t think anything about it.

After a couple weeks I couldn’t curl the toes on my left foot. Walking was unbearable. I even made a couple jokes about breaking my foot on Twitter.

It got to the point where I couldn’t wear my new high heels, which have Ring Pops all over it (the design, unfortunately, they aren’t covered in real Ring Pops.)

That being a major crisis, I ended up going to my chiropractor.

He had me lay on his Frankenstein table and tilted it all the way back so I was laying completely horizontal (like most tables).

After an “ahh” and a “mhm” and  some”ooh’s” he came forth with the news. “Your toe is dangling out of it’s socket.”

Hm. As I suspected but did nothing about.

He began strapping my leg to the table.

“Uh, What’s that? I don’t like what you’re doing, why are you doing that, WHAT ARE YO–”

But before he even told me, he was hovering over my foot and with all his weight behind it, snapped my toe back into it’s socket.

He unraveled the tape and pressed the button that made the table move to an upright, vertical position, in true Frankenstein form.  I had to jump off before it kept going 180 degrees and smash me into the carpet.

He wrapped my foot up in the same tape he had strapped my leg down. “Keep this one for a couple days, maybe a 4 to 5 days, maybe a couple weeks. And don’t get it wet.”

I took it off after 4 days. I got it wet.

But my toe is all better! It hurts a little, but now I can stomp around in my Ring Pop shoes.

Until next time, gurgle puss!

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