Day Four of the Writing101 Challenge.
Write about a loss. Something or someone who isn’t in your life any longer.
For this question I didn’t want to talk about obvious loss like death, moving, graduating from school, or that time I got my wisdom teeth out and lost all sensation in my bottom lip for a year. Tehe. Loss doesn’t have to be bad at all.
One thing that I don’t have in my life any longer (or at least most of the time) is the overbearing feeling of caring what other people think of me or being embarrassed of myself. That isn’t to say I don’t have days where I feel uncomfortable in my own skin or feel a bit anxious around others. I think that happens to everyone. BUT being embarrassed to speak up for yourself or to worry if others will like you and/or your creative work is bullshit. Just do what you like. That goes without saying if you’re hurting others and being an all around asshole, then cut that shit out, but other than that YOU DO YOU BABY.
I’ve always been incredibly shy and afraid of people thinking my opinions were stupid. Maybe my opinions were stupid but that doesn’t make them any less valid or worthy of sharing. I grew up desperately avoiding the possibility of ever being wrong. Instead of trying and failing, I wouldn’t even try. Horrible mistake. It’s like in Finding Nemo when Dory advises Marlin about how he smothers Nemo.
“Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him, then nothing would ever happen to him.”
It sounds like what I was doing to myself. Impeding my own growth by trying to protect myself. My fears were based on situations that were probably never going to happen, and if they did, the damage would only last a few seconds.
What’s the big deal? Am I going to be right ALL THE TIME? Absolutely not. In fact, I’m usually wrong about a lot of things but at least it’s the quickest way for me to learn.
SO, in conclusion, don’t ever feel embarrassed about yourself. Whether it’s something you tried and failed at or something you did that didn’t turn out the way you thought it would.
Just relax. It doesn’t matter.
If someone judges you or makes you feel inferior about something you tried, then they are dealing with something deeper than what you’re doing. Constructive criticism is a wonderful tool but if it’s criticism for the sake of criticizing- don’t take it as the indisputable truth. In any case, as my dear mother RuPaul says “Your opinion of me is none of my business.”
Be wrong, feel silly, and do what you feel is fulfilling and true for you. There are great lessons in those moments.
K bye my loveducks.
**P.S. Please follow me on Twitter, @LoloVonK ! **