Drinking Candles


I’ve found my weakness in this world. It’s not Cookie Butter, it’s not Cookie Butter Cups (although that’s a close second), BUT my true love and passion in this world: Yankee Candle’s “Sugared Apple.”

Stay with me, babies.

Over the past few months I’ve developed a chronic illness, one in which inhabits my entire body and I must, at all costs, find the most mouth-watering, soul inflaming, expens-I mean exciting new scents given to mankind.

I even wrote a fricken review on the Yankee Candle website declaring my love and admiration. I also wrote one for the Apple Spice (made to smell like an Apple Cider Doughnut) like the little porky I am. Hehe! Snort, snort.

I also had to buy a Patchouli candle because how the hell else am I going to reach nirvana? The Vanilla Chai candle also got strapped into a car seat  on the way home because I imagine that’s what Buddha  and J. Christ would’ve done.

It’s so convenient that they come in jars so once the wax is liquidized you can drink it right from the glass!

Alright, my friends. Enough about candles until next week when Yankee Candle has their Buy 2 Get 2 free and I buy out the whole store and pay a cabana boy to fan me and pour Bay Leaf Wreath and Balsam & Cedar down my throat.


2 thoughts on “Drinking Candles

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