I Drank the Candles

I’m manifesting my desires like a pro.

Last week I barked about all the new candles I got at Yankee Candle and how I wanted to smear the wax all over my body.

LITTLE DID I KNOW that I would be invited to go to the YANKEE CANDLE VILLAGE FACTORY STORE! The Yankee Candle Flagship. The motherland.

The mere four hours we spent traipsing around the store really got my chakras aligned and my third eye open. I also think I might have had a contraction or two. To be determined.

The real kiss on the lips was the $20 of $70 coupon I had. CHILD’S PLAY. I loaded up my cart, grabbing full price items, sale items, some gum off the ground. When I got to the register which was about 46 older women named Helen and Barbara lined up for mile ringing up me and every other nana in the store at the same time. My Helen-Barbara rang up all my regular priced hoard-worthy items and mentioned that the coupon did NOT COVER the sale items. IT’S OKAY! I shouted because I had a $20 of $45 coupon on my phone! I’m not an amateur. But Helen-Barbara…oh Helen…she said my items did not ring up to $45 either!  My regular priced items came to $44.95 and HB never rang up my sale items (worth $30). I mentioned this and she still said I couldn’t use the coupon, which I understood, I could’t, but she still didn’t ring up my sale items that I wanted, coupons or not. HELEN-BARBARA WOULD NOT LISTEN! I swiped my card for $44.95, sans coupons. QUICK RECAP: paid for regular priced items, told HB I still intended to buy the sale candles even if I couldn’t use a coupon, told HB that she never rang up my sale items, HB said she did. LO GET’S FREE CANDLES! HOORAY! HB was very nice and I was very nice back. DON’T LET MY CAPS LOCK SHOUTING FOOL YOU!

Now with 7 more candles in tow, I plan on going to a Yankee Candle store tomorrow to take advantage for the Buy 2, Get 2 Free sale. APPLE CIDER CANDLES FOR EVERYONE! I feel like I’m turning into az4angela except Jen from Appleton is my best friend.

Okay childrens. I love you, may you enjoy something in your life as much as I love Yankee Candles. Thank you, bye.

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