I’m in Bed Already, God Bless America

It’s not even 10PM yet and I’m perfecting my nest. I’ve gathered my pillows and bits of hair and twigs that I can wrap myself in to keep warm. I was getting punchy there for a while so instead of using the $30 firming night cream I bought, I dumped a bunch of lavender massage oil in my hands and greased my face up. I’m feeling relaxed.

The downside to being in bed is now that I’m thirsty, trekking the 20ft to get the Brita filter seems unbearable. I could take the 10ft walk to the bathroom and use the tap water there but it’s been leaving red marks in the sink. At least I think that’s from the water but I have been flossing lately.

Anyways, I’m still hyped up on candy since Halloween. Everyday I treat myself to some leftover candy because I NEVER* treat myself! (*And the lie detector determined that was a lie).

Did I tell you I am in love with the guy who works at the gas station down the street from my house? I bet he likes candy too. I’m not sure if he has a girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, or husband but I imagine we would lay together in my nest and feed each other KitKats and Whoopers. The burger not the candy. I’ll let you know if I make any headway in Operation: Let’s Be Gross.

Today was weird. Was today weird for you? Tell me how it was weird for you. I want to know. You’re special to me.

K I love you, yellow looks nice on you.

2 comments

  1. I love your blog. I laugh out loud at it constantly. I’ve also done the whole “drink water from the kitchen or walk one room over and get water” – wtf, why would I do that, there’s a leftover Coke from the night before right beside the bed. Tastes shitty but I didn’t have to leave my blanket doing it.

    1. Thank you so much! That really means a lot to me. AND of COURSE I could never drink the dust filled water from the glass next to my bed I left there 3 days ago. Not one sip…ever…*wipes droplet from mouth*

      Mmmm, I love Coke. Now I WANT TO leave my bed just to go buy one and put it on my night stand and have sugar filled dreams.

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