Dear God please help me I just ate half a pound of cinnamon fudge. It feels like I dipped my teeth in glue then immediately dipped them in sand. My enamel is très healthy.

I’ve also been eating lasagna every day for lunch. In my new plan to “pay off all your debt from  those $40 Uber rides and $50 steak dinners you charged” I’ve been the recipient of many homemade dinners from my mom. LASAGNA 5 DAYS A WEEK MAN. LIVIN’ THE HIGH LIFE. *high five*

There’s two tons of green beans in my fridge that I’ve been trying to consume before they go bad. Green beans for BREAKFAST,  green beans for LUNCH, green beans for DINNER! When 300 green beans are in your fridge, you can eat green beans anytime! (That was obviously to the Bagel Bites jingle.)

Okay I’m tired I think the gas from all the green beans is putting me to sleep.

Bye love you don’t smell the cat