GREETINGS!

Remember that allergy I had that swelled my eyes shut before mysteriously going away* (*getting murdered by prescription pills)?

It’s back. I don’t know what I’m typing. I might not even be in the WordPress app. For all I know I could be texting the Hambuglar right now.Hey Hamburglar, what is your real name and why are you such an asshole? You don’t have access to ground beef? Or a grill? Not even a George Foreman? SUUUURE.

Anyways, I have 40lbs of Vaseline on my eyes and I’m looking très beautiful. I can’t wait to wake up with my sheets stuck to my face and a hunk of lint and maybe some dead (or living?!) spiders hanging on there too. Full status report of the spiders build a colony and raise an empire. 

Hehe! Okay Mr. Hamburglar, enjoy your night and you should really check your cholesterol. 

K love you 143 smooch