Do Not Microwave Your Dirty Sponge or You Will be a Sad Person

Are you a sad person? Is it because you microwaved your sponge?

I know most of you cried out with  resounding “YES!” to both those questions, so I’ll just cut to the chase.

If for by some reason you answered “no” to the second question, which I know is highly unlikely, then I’m going to dispense some Baz Luhrmann advice on you. Also, Luhrmann autocorrected when I spelt it wrong and that frightens and delights me. Anyways, DO NOT MICROWAVE YOUR SPONGE. But yes, wear sunscreen.

seal
If this seal can do it, then you can do it too!

After seeing a post about cleaning your kitchen, I read some of the tips listed–one of which was “microwave your sponge to kill bacteria!” Good idea in theory BUT what is not mentioned is the fact that although the germs may be dead, they also die a fucking wretched, butt-smelling death. You know when your sponge has worn down and it has gross dirty dishwater smell? Yeah, it’s like that but only HOT and like someone wiped the sponge up their asshole.

giphy
Here we are in the Pit of Eternal Stench.

Don’t do it, unless your into a buttonhole smelling sponge thing. I’m sure there’s a section of the internet that caters to that. So, I bet you are looking for a solution now that I’ve busted that myth? Well, I don’t have one because I’ve lost all sense of smell after that experiment and won’t be able to conduct any further tests. Please send clean sponges in lieu of flowers.

Have you ever tried a dumb hack and found out that it was really dumb? Tell me in the comments so I can avoid doing those dumb things! I should show you my cream cheese Oreo truffles I tried to make. They were as gross as that sounds.

Okay! I love you! Go buy some nice fresh sponges and don’t stick them up your butt unless they are the feminine sponges but then again those don’t go up your butt either OKAY BYE DON’T BE A SAD PERSON!

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