Hey, I’m Dumb and Here’s Why: A Moment on Suicide and My Stupidity*

*Please note this post discusses suicide and may be triggering for some. The National Suicide Hotline for those in need: 1-800-273-8255.

HEY FRIENDS!

Today I watched the Virgin Suicides for the first time. Not the most uplifting of movies, but who would’ve guessed with that title?sdfsdfsdfsdfsdf

I know I’m about 15 years too late and I’m not sure if spoilers have a “statute of limitations” but to spare anyone who hasn’t seen it, I’ll make a vague statement by saying–they talk about suicides! One of them being “sticking your head in the oven.”

ease

Now, for someone who was very sheltered in their life and was lucky enough to grow up without having to learn from such an experience, I did not know what the logistics were behind the “sticking your head in the oven” method. I’d heard it and almost found it humorous because I pictured someone’s nana having a fit over bad manners at the dinner table and using it as a threat to get everyone to shut up, behave and eat nicely.

Me and my roommate started getting upset over the thought of this horrific way to end a life. “So do you just wait for it to heat up and you burn yourself?” and “Or do you just hit yourself with the door?” were some of the genius questions posed by these two. “How scary must it be to wait for it to preheat??”

We finally googled it out of sheer morbid curiosity.

uni

That’s when we found out just how dumb we really are!  Apparently, it was very easy to manipulate old GAS ovens and breathe in the toxic fumes. YEAH. No one was trying to have a Gremlins moment. Thankfully, this misuse of an appliance is not as easy to partake in now.

Oh yeah and then I peed my pants laughing about how serious we took ourselves in our plight to save non-existent people from not cooking their head meat A urine-soaked cycle of chumps and chump-related thoughts.

giphy

In any case, I want to stress that I don’t find suicide itself funny because it’s not. What I find funny is how I am terribly naive and have a lot to learn about mostly everything in the world.  For example, I am still not 100% sure on how to use a can opener. Suicide just happened to be the subject of the day.

Have you ever done or thought anything so tremendously stupid, it was almost borderline adorable how much of a knucklehead you were? How did you find out that you were wrong and possibly irreversibly dumb? I NEED TO KNOW!

Stay safe! Breathe clean air! You are loved even if you don’t know how to use a can opener either. 143 123 xox pfffft.

2 Comments

  1. I used to work with a bunch of potheads years ago. One pothead said that the cops came to his house and pothead was flipping out because there were “roaches” all over his house. To which I matter of factly replied “maybe it’s good for the cops to see all those bugs, it might force your landlord to exterminate.” Yeah. True story.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s