I’m Still Alive

I think I forgot I had a blog.

Last week I had a cold and it wiped all my recent memory out because I squirted a full bottle of Afrin up my nose. I tend to be pretty natural in my eating (Oreos count) and in my supplement taking. I use non-toxic lotions and shampoos and all that good crap so my innards and outtards don’t shrivel. But when I am sick, I will pump my body with so much synthetic shit that I become a disturbing medicine cocktail experiment. Afrin, Zicam, DayQuil, NyQuil, Jack Daniels. I would’ve taken to drinking rubbing alcohol if I wasn’t so sure it would make me go blind.

I’m feeling better now but I have the post-cold runny nose that lasts for a good 5-6 months.

I started feeling sick at night and I wasn’t stocked up on my “contains ingredients that will make your liver bleed” products, so I ended up doing Reiki on my dumb face and laying crystals out on my body to absorb any cosmic gunk from my sinuses. I think it helped but maybe that was the dry rye whiskey I tossed back talking. I’m not a lush and people who talk about drinking make me cringe BUT I’ve learned from my Armenian friends that a little bit of alcohol will help kill any infection (vodka under the nose if you are around someone who is ill so you don’t snuck their gross germs up your face). It could be an old wives tale but I’m an “by any means necessary” girl when it comes to breathing out of my nose.

I’ve gotten minimal sleep since the whole ordeal. With birthday parties, a trip to Maine, an excursion to Quebec, and catching up on The Walking Dead, I think I need to take a week off and rent out a cave from some bored bears who are over it and rest my sickly little body.

Anyways, I’m not proofreading this so it’ll be like a fun game getting through all the spelling and grammar errors. Hehe. I’m sure the syntax is great too.

K I love you bye go buy some fudge.

2 Comments

    1. Actually, boils on my legs is right. But I think it’s from my skin tight jeggings ripping my skin off. I’ve got 3 different hydrocortisone creams on hand at all times.

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