Weed, Brah.

For a short period of time, a few years back, I used to smoke weed and chomp on edibles. As one would expect, I was reminded of that time today when every social media outlet I follow blew up with 4/20 mentions. Despite being a short-lived period, the memories from that time are some of the funniest and most vivid moments  I still think about. Let’s reminisce on the more outrageous ones, shall we?

  • I used to ride my bike in my college town all the time. After one particular evening of smoking, I rode my bike to a 7-11 and bought a bag of powdered Donettes and ate the whole bag in three minutes. I dropped one on the ground in the sandy parking lot. I picked it up, pulled a screw out of it and ate it any way.


  • Avoid getting “too high” at all costs. It’s horrible and you feel like you’re dying. With that being said, I was on day two of coming down from a high and had to go to my ceramics class. The radio was on and I was at the wheel in demonstrating Demi Moore realness and was making a massacre of the vase I was attempting to form. The 30-something-year-old ceramics teacher sat behind me (with permission, as he did with all the students) to help me figure out the finger work. Once he sat down behind me and the wheel was on, we started forming a vase. Then I fucking kid you not, “Unchained Melody” from the Righteous Brothers came on over the radio. We both immediately stiffened up in true UH OH form. Trying to take the awkward tension out of our Ghost recreation project, he said, “well this is fitting.” I hit the speed pedal on my wheel and the vase shot off into oblivious nearly taking the head off one of my classmates.


  • My favorite story starts off with me drooling in the back seat of my friend’s car and listening to the Sound of Silence on the way to the movie theatre. That should’ve been a big Blue’s Clues pawprint right on my face as evidence that I should’ve stayed home. Thor just came out so we headed over for the late show. The theatre was huge with multiple levels but I had zero problems finding the sole Ben & Jerry’s stand and having a forty-seven thousand calorie jumbo frappe made from three different ice cream flavors before the movie started. I remember being extremely tired after dosing my innards with cookie dough products but I remember the effects were crazy and Loki screaming “TELL ME!” The next day at lunch we all talked about the movie and I mentioned how glad I was we saw it in 3D and that it really added a cool layer to the movie. After a beat of silence and looks from everyone, one of my friends said, “We didn’t see it in 3D.” Stunned and convinced they must be trying to fool me, I mentioned that we wore the 3D glasses and everything, to which I was met with the reply, “Lauren, those weren’t 3D glasses, you were just wearing your sunglasses during the entire movie.”


Have any dumbo stories of your youth or even your adulthood?






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