Ah, Delightfully Offensive Cartoons Make My Heart Glad

I had ice cream four times in two days and I feel like I’m dying.

I’ve wrapped myself in my 47lb furry bathrobe and have been horizontal for the past five hours.

When I’m lethargic, dyslexia takes the wheel and uses the monster truck for a Sunday drive over my motor skills. While trying to add No Doubt’s “Hella Good” to a playlist (shut up), I typed in “Hood Gel” and surprisingly still managed to find the song without having to retype it. Take pleasure in the small successes. Also, I think Hood Gel would be a great name for a gel that promises to cement your hair down so you can wear a hood and pull it off without ruining your hairstyle. Nvm, I just filed for the patent, sorry.

Needing a pick-me-up, I started looking for Tiny Toons videos, as one does when they are tired and need to refresh themselves mind, body and soul.

Thankfully, I found the perfect video. Now I can pinpoint the exact moment my childhood started falling apart.

Screen Shot 2016-05-01 at 7.46.03 PM
click here if you dare

This is probably why I started doing comedy. At least now I have an accurate timeline for my memoir.

My power just went out so I think that’s a sign that maybe I should get off my computer for 10 minutes and get up and walk around and maybe breathe clean air instead of mouth-breathing into my bathrobe collar that I have covering my entire face.

alright, darlings – inhale, exhale, smoochsmooch143

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