Look Ma, Gray Hair

Hey Nana-Lovers,

I rented a few DVDs from the library this week because my hair is starting to gray and I’m trying to take it in stride. I should add that those few DVDs were all various seasons of Inside the Actor’s Studio with James Lipton. That may be my penance for ripping one of my gray hairs out when no one was looking.

Do you write gray or grey? I’ve always written “gray.” It looks better. “Grey” reminds me of murky tap water or a dense fog and it makes my nana-bones hurt. Also, Grey Goose tastes like feet. Also, Christian Grey likes to taste feet. Coincidence? I don’t know, I haven’t read the book so I don’t even know if that’s true but it probably is so yay.

My mom started graying in her teens and my dad started graying closer to his 40s so I don’t know what’s going on with me but I’m rounding the corner to 27 and I have enough wiry strands to pluck out and makelife-like whiskers for a sock puppet cat. I met someone the other day who had a voice like a sock puppet, or how I imagine a sock puppet would sound. It was a very deep man voice and had a slow and careful way of enunciating words. It might have been a gorilla, I don’t know.

I just did my nails so the fumes might be making me delusional. Or it was the drugs I did in college. Hey-o! My nails are Barbie pink but the color is called “Purple Panic” and I really would like to see someone about this because it’s not even close to a magenta or orchid, let alone a PURPLE. What an outrage. I’ve also had this nail polish for 10 years so the chemical content coming off my nails and into my nostrils is probably not favorably to my case.

Any ways, I’m tired and I haven’t been to work on time in two years.

k love you bye smooch 143xo


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