Magnets, man.

I recently got over some sort of cold or season allergy spell recently. My body has felt weighed down and stressed out the last few weeks so I was probably due for ailment. I try to drink a lot of water and stay away from sugars, dairy, and flour-based products but I recently wanted to step up what I was doing because I still didn’t feel well after I recovered.

I’m no stranger to holistic healing but I was skeptical when trying out an ionic foot bath treatment. I’ve used the foot patches, you apply to the bottom of your feet at night, that claim to removes toxins from your body. The patches would change color but I was still aware of the fact that that could just be a magic trick to make you think it’s your body have an affect on the patches, or vice versa.

The ionic foot bath I received took about 45minutes and really looked gnarly after I finished. I work in a jewelry casting house so I breathe in metal particles all day. That’s what that sediment at that bottom of the footbath is in the picture below. Mostly the detox started from my left foot, which the left side of my body has always been the side to get cramps or pain. My foot kept feeling like it was on pins and needles and it would rise up into my calves and into my stomach. IMG_0438

My stomach started gurgling a lot and it felt like my insides were moving around or adjusting. I felt a little dizzy after and went home to drink a lot of water.

That was about a week ago and I feel the urge to go back again. I feel much lighter and less stressed out.

While I was getting the foot bath done, I also got the pendant that is proudly displayed on the cover of this brief essay. It is said to block out electromagnetic radiation. I sit next to 3D printers all day and the amount of energy and electricity that is used to power them is overwhelming. So far I’ve felt better able to focus at work. Could it be the foot bath, the pendant, neither, or both?

Who knows, but there is nothing like killing a natural, healthy high then eating two bags of Peanut Butter M&Ms in bed!

xo

You Formerly-Toxic Avenger

Laughing Her Head Off

I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with this little baby troll head so I captioned it “What is Trolly laughing about?”

Someone said she might have just laughed her head off. It sounds like a nice state of being.

I recently picked up Jane Austen’s Persuasion. I’ve never read any of her novels and I have to say that moving from Fried Green Tomatoes to 19th century English may have not been the most graceful segue. I keep checking in on the SparkNotes to make sure I’ve fully understood the intentions and feelings of the characters. So far I’ve been about 95% aware of what’s going on. It’s turning into more of an after school project then a hobbyist’s escape.

Today was a ten-hour work day. It was hot and I didn’t have any lunch prepared so I had to walk to the cafeteria. It was nice but I brought $8 in cash and found a penny on the way. When I got to the register my total was $8.03. If only my street-side fortune could account for Massachusetts State Tax.

Every once in a while, I’ll think of an item I own and think “where the hell did that go?”

I own more notebooks than I can fill in one lifetime. My memory of a Toy Story Moleskine notebook (featuring the aliens on the cover) suddenly came to focus. I’m pretty sure I bought two of them. So far I’ve only found one so it remains to be seen if there is a second notebook and, if so, when and where will I find it.

I was in the sun more in this past weekend than I have been all summer collectively.

There is a mediumship course I just started taking and they encourage getting outside so I was proud to be relaxing and finishing homework at the same time.

However, that sun exposure seems to be finally hitting me now.

Until next time.

 

End of August

Tomorrow is Friday and I cannot drink enough NyQuil to get me through to the weekend. The weather in Massachusetts has been fluctuating now that we are moving from August into September, my glands seem to have tripled in size. My sinuses are blocked and my hearing has gotten fuzzier. I have to say, I quite like it.

I completely missed July and most of August. Notable events? I turned 29 years old. I would say this feels like a milestone, being the last year of my 20’s, however, I’ve felt like I’ve been 40 years old since the 3rd grade. I finished Fried Green Tomatoes. I made my first hot toddy and ate my first BLT. I never really liked raw tomatoes but a little bruschetta changed my mind. I pitched to a PBS storytelling show. I got denied by a PBS storytelling show. I got to voice a cartoon character. I got to host a comedy show for four audience members. I got to host a comedy show for a full house. I started up my Pinterest again and I ordered my first StitchFix. I started reading a Jane Austen book after finishing Fried Green Tomatoes. I should have made a smoother transition from country drawls to whatever the hell is going on in Persuasion. There has been a lot going on.

I scheduled myself an “ionic foot bath.” It’s in the realm of holistic healing and I don’t  know what’s going to happen but I hear it draws out toxins from your body and turns the water gnarly colors. I sit next to 3D Printers all day and I used to eat a lot of tunafish as a kid so I think maybe ridding myself of heavy metals and electromagnetic toxins should be on my to-do list.

Yanni played his Yanni: Live at the Acropolis 25th Anniversary Tour. It was nice and also 3 hours long.I got a t-shirt and was gifted a Yanni mug. That being said, I’ve been listening to Enya almost exclusively. She doesn’t tour (yet) so I figured if I listened to her enough I could manifest her in concert.

August is coming to an end quicker than I had hoped.

My Nyquil is starting to kick in so I will bid you adieu. For anyone else suffering from allergies or change-of-season-blues, if you have a stuffy nose – try holding your breath. If you hold it for long enough your body goes into a “SHE’S GONNA DIE, GIVE HER AIR” mode so you’ll get a second of relief. Use at your own risk, I don’t know what kind of damage that could cause brain cells so consult your doctor and not a stranger on a blog.

 

Goodnight! Enjoy the rest of your August days.

Mid-June Update & Friends

It’s mid-June and I remembered to take my Iodine supplement for my thyroid. We can all relax now.

The last two months have been so particularly draining that I forgot I had a blog, let alone two. Please excuse the brevity and lack of cohesion. I guess now is as good a time as any to plug my cartoon page LonelyTrollGirl.com. Check it out!

I co-produce a monthly comedy show and it has been very rewarding but also it has made me into a person that drinks a lot of “stress relief” teas and considers showering “down time.” Meditation has helped but sometimes I confuse thinking about meditation with actually doing it.

Lonely Troll Girl was submitted to a few shows and projects but so far she’s been waitlisted on one and rejected from the other. We haven’t heard back from the third project and are anxiously awaiting a decision.

Goodreads has been another nice outlet to have. My goal for 2018 is to read 25 books. I believe I’m about halfway there. Sometimes my reading slows down when Disney Emoji Blitz has an event going on and I end up staring at my phone late into the night.

I started watching Impractical Jokers. Having never seen it, I thought it was stupid. However, one Sunday last month, I sat down for breakfast and turned on the TV. What looked like an older episode was on. I laughed out loud a few times and ended up being late for what I had scheduled that day because lost track of time. It’s been I-J and me ever since.

My birthday is coming up soon and I will be entering the last year of my twenties. It’s not so bad when you have already felt like you were in your 40s since you were 9. I say that as I’m lying in bed with my hips elevated to alleviate pressure but also with my laptop being supported by one of my many stuffed friends.

Now I’m off to finally catching up on Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe. So far the book and the movie have been extremely close. Down to some monologues verbatim. I’m so glad the movie was well done. I think about if my book was optioned and the movie ended up being trash, how I would feel. Hopefully, if that ever happens it’ll be a smash hit and either Danny Elfman or Thomas Newman will do the score. Thank you in  advance.

That’s it for me. I think it’s time for bed.

Bye!xo

Be My, Be My Maisy. My One and Only Maisy.

It’s been an eventful week. I got a flat-tire, I pulled my hip out, and my kitty, Maisy, had to go to the big kitty corral in the sky.

I got Maisy and her sister, Litty, soon after they were born in April 1999. I was in fourth grade and had never held a real baby kitten before and ended up panicking and losing control of them while we were still in the driveway. They both scurried under the car before we could even get them house and my mom had some choice words for me about responsibility. Thankfully, they survived their little detour into their new home.

They didn’t have names but once Litty started eating straight from her litter box, well, we’ve never won any awards for being creative. Family legend has it that we named Maisy after the character in Uncle Buck, but in reality (i.e. my reality, which isn’t saying much), we were all in the family room one night with the lights off, about to watch a movie, when there was a commercial for either McDonald’s or Burger King or some other fast food chain, that was giving away Maisy Mouse cartoons or toys. My mother said “Maisy, that’s a nice name” and it stuck.

Being in fourth grade in 1999, we had recently got a family computer to which someone would say I got “excessive” use out of. We received some kind of CD ROM that had all sorts of graphics on it to make posters, awards, etc. Naturally, that meant I had to make official documents stating that Maisy was mine and Litty was my brother’s. Hot of the HP they were shot down almost immediately by the rest of the family. I even had a clause stating that switching ownership was permissible but no one ever reads the fine print.

I grew up with Maisy through grade school and high school, and sure enough she would always be waiting on my bed when I got home from college. I moved out a few years after graduation and would still come and visit my mother and the kitties at least once a month. Every time I left, I would always make sure to kiss each cat and say goodbye. I was home this past weekend and had to rush back to my home (a little less than 2 hours away) to make the pharmacy. I forgot to kiss Maisy goodbye.

A few days later, she appeared to have had a stroke and had renal failure. She made a trip to the vet but being almost 92 in cat years, they said any procedure would only be prolonging the inevitable and it would be wise to consider quality of life. My mom took her home. She seemed to be in pain and stopped eating. A nice veterinarian was able to make a house call a little over a day later and help Maisy take  the big nap.

I miss her already and feel like I’m functioning on a very base level (if I’ve made errors in syntax or grammar, just let this one slide please).

Here she is in her natural habitat, desperately trying to force herself under my sheets.

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Ice Cream for Me

I just ordered ice cream because it’s payday and I like to treat myself with a a phlegmy cough at 3am unmistakably produced by a mound of Purple Cow eaten only hours prior.

At least I would have but I ordered French Vanilla instead.

I started listening to the S Town podcast. I had no idea the “S” stood for “Shit.” I guess I just assumed it was a spinoff of Serial and the S stood for “Serial?” Not a terrible conclusion but also not correct.

I generally don’t listen to podcasts but every so often I will go through a wave of “binge” listening to them. Season 1 of Serial was great. Then I bounced around to interview casts like You Made It Weird, How To Be Amazing, and Magic Lessons. It was so intermittent that I even went as far as deleting the Podcast app off of my phone because it went unused (and I needed an excuse to fit 2,000 more photos on my phone, as if that equaled out in any capacity.)

In the mornings, I’ve been listening to Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations. Half the time I don’t even know who the guests are and they are usually the most interesting. I’ve also been listening to the audiobook (well, CD) off Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. So far, so good. I’ll let you know if I reach total enlightenment by Friday.

My ice cream came. I added “chocolate flakes” hoping it would be like chocolate Frosted Flakes but apparently it was more literal and it arrived as chocolate shavings.

Anyways, my ice cream is melting because I’ve been slowly typing with one hand.

 

Bye!143xo

Yetti Baby

Yay! It’s February.

I started listening to the audiobook I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings after listening to an interview between Oprah and Dr. Maya Angelou. I’m enjoying it so far and connected to the parts where she pees her pants a lot. I use to pee my pants a lot when I was a baby too and by baby I mean up into high school years.

In other news, I’ve been gaining weight rapidly from my diet of Pepsi and Fudge Shop cookies. I’ve been enjoying my life as a warmer little squish butt. I think my stuffed animals appreciate it when they are cold and cuddle up at night.

If you’re wondering about the image attached to this post, it’s my newest baby who is on the way. She’s three feet tall and VERY floofy and currently driving an Amazon truck to see me. I’ve been looking up her tracking and it hasn’t been updated in three days and I’m hoping she is okay. Updates to come once she arrives and tucks me into bed.

Okay, I have to go shower for a million years to warm my bones.

Bye143!xo

A New Girth

It’s Sunday and I’m lounging on top of my bed hoping not to spill the crumbs from the banana bread I just ate all over my sheets. I don’t know if I was supposed to use a comma or two in that last sentence by we’ve got bigger fish to fry now.

I put up three posters in my bed room today, all with mediocre-hold-stickiness so I’ll let you know if I get the shit scared out of me in the middle of the night when one or all of them fall onto me while I sleep.

Today I was trying to find some podcasts to listen to while I cleaned my room. I ended up coming across Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations. I don’t get the OWN channel but I do watch when she live streams the Super Soul Sunday conversations. I found that she recently talked to  Eckhart Tolle, who wrote one of my favorite books (A New Earth), and was a constant guest on Oprah’s Lifeclass. Lifeclass was a show that then had a companion livestream with Oprah and guests. It focused on being “awakened” and living a life which less pain and stress. It was the first time I consciously remember changing my life by way of loosening the grip of ego (“small you”, not the personality trait), starting to meditate, and hearing someone articulate being “awake” which was something I had been feeling but was too young to really figure out on my own.

Today on the podcast, Oprah said she hadn’t interviewed Eckhart since those livestreams which was TEN YEARS AGO. I still vividly remember sections from that show and reading A New Earth and having it all click. They talked about evolution of consciousness, especially collection given the state of the USA, and how it’s not linear. You go forward, there is some regression, you move forward again, and right now we are back in a regression. It’s difficult but the regression is important because it does end up springing you forward.

Oprah’s podcast ended up leading me to search around for other podcasts and I ended up listening to Jack Kornfield’s show for three hours. Now I’m deciding which of the four books I’m reading simultaneously do I want to bring to bed tonight. It should probably be the one I rented from the library as opposed to the other three that have been sitting in my room for years on end. I wiped down the library book with a wet one the other day and Jesus Christ was that frightening. I won’t go into detail but just wipe down the books before you use them and also maybe don’t put them on the pillow that you sleep on.

My joke writing still feels sluggish so I wanted to try Reductress again soon. I used to pitch frequently but sometimes when you hit a goal, that’s all there is to it and you can move on. I moved on for a while but I think I would like to see my name up there again. I use it in my standup credits and I personally would like those to remain relevant.

Okay, I’m off to get another slice of banana bread because I need nourishment in one form or another and what better way than to take a fruit and make it unhealthy. Hehe.

Bye 143xo!

Rose Gold Minnie Express

Hello my feet are freezing but I just painted my toe nails so I guess I will suffer softly on my couch while watching one of the many Rush documentaries I have in my streaming queue.

I’ve been in a finicky mood lately. I can’t listen to music or watch TV or do most anything without feeling distracted. I might just be cranky because I’ve been eating cereal for most of my meals after a long hiatus from milk. I also get a little unbalanced when I feel I haven’t written a good joke or something funny in a while. It’s easy to slip out of feeling funny or just rusty in general. I can’t avoid the cliche that it is a muscle you have to work out constantly to see the results.

I canceled my subscription to Microsoft Office and have been using Pages on my MacBook. Something felt weird about paying $11 to use a word document. I think I might even like Pages more but I don’t know if that’s my velcro PowerPuff Girls wallet talking.

Another new thing, I  didn’t realize Kiki’s Delivery Service was 2 hours long so I haven’t finished it yet. There’s been an event on the Disney Emoji Blitz for “Rose Gold Minnie” so I’ve hung up reading and watching items for a short period of time (really short, about 48 hours)  to get Rose Gold Minnie so I can feel fulfilled for about 45 minutes.

I did put on a documentary on Hulu called Crazy About Tiffany’s and it made me feel really gross. When I was in high school the trends were North Face jackets, Coach purses and Tiffany’s  bracelet/necklace. How anyone in my high school could afford that or where they even got the idea that they needed it is beyond me. My grandmother got me a plated knock-off heart bracelet with a little plastic ruby in it. I’m embarrassed now that I was embarrassed by it then. I hope I still have it somewhere.

It was interesting watching the artistry with mixing the colors to get the “perfect” (read: trademarked) robin’s egg blue. Also the jewelers portion was curious to watch because I work in a small scale jewelry casting house and there doesn’t seem to be much variation.

Anyways, I just ordered a pizza and will now watch it on the pizza tracker until it arrives and  I can kiss it.

Bye!