There’s Something About Barry

Well, hello there.

Today is Winkel Wednesday, but I thought I’d share a very, very, very, rough first draft of a sketch I wrote. 

This is my second time around taking the Second City sketch writing course, so the stuff that comes out is usually unfinished and following a specific set of guidelines. Most of the time the sketches aren’t even funny but it’s about the process and building a foundation to lay the funnies on. So here it is!

Mr. Winkel will be making an appearance later tonight. Tehe.

 

                                       1.

There’s Something About Barry

1/31/14 (Draft #1)

 

CAST

Barry- late 30’s

Paul –late 30’s

 

                               (Paul’s living room.)

BARRY

There ya’ go, Paul. TV’s all set. Good as new, and that’s the Good as New TV Repair Service guarantee.

(Puts tools back in tool bag.)

PAUL

Thanks again, Barry. Picture looks great. Good to see you again too.

(Shakes Barry’s hand, goes to show him door.)

BARRY

My pleasure! Gosh, What a great screen, picture’s crystal clear.

PAUL

(Nervous chuckle) Yeah! Thanks, we really enjoy it. So, let me show you the do-

BARRY

Ah, would ya’ look at that, the game just started! 

(Sets tools bag down.)

PAUL

Oh right, it’s about that time. (Checks watch.) I almost forgot, good thing I called you guys when I did.

 

2.

BARRY

Yeah, perfect! Almost like a dee-vine intervention, as those hocus pocus, voodoo, witch-card readers would say.

PAUL

(Trying to be pleasant.) Uhh…yeah, I guess. Well, I don’t want to hold you up.

BARRY

Now, don’t be crazy, Paul! You aren’t holding me up one bit. (Plops down on Paul’s recliner, puts footrest up). Like I said, it’s like the dee-vine intervention. You don’t want to mess with that.

PAUL

Gee, Barry, I wasn’t even going to watch-

BARRY

(Cuts Paul off mid-sentence, a little angrier.) LIKE I SAID PAUL. YOU DON’T MESS WITH THAT.

PAUL

(Firmly.) Listen, Barry, now I’m not going to ask you again.

BARRY

(Grabs remote and points at PAUL) KALAMAZOO!

PAUL

(Looking stunned, opens up his mouth, recording of famous pop song comes out instead of words.) R-E-S-P-E-C-T FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO ME.

BARRY

Paul, I didn’t know you have the Music Choice Premium Package!

PAUL

(Horrified, Paul tries to scream.) SOCK-IT-TO-ME, SOCK-IT-TO-ME!

 

3.

BARRY

Hehe. Gosh, what a classic. (Lowers volume on Paul, continues watching came with a smug smile).

(FADEOUT.)

Hey Snatches, Day 28

HEY!

I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “snatch” until now.

I’m not even really sure what it’s supposed to mean.

Anyways, Day 28! Blerg Challenge.

I like the spectrum of these questions. We jumped from what kind of food I like, to the deep underbelly in which my psyche dwells.

That being said, today’s question: What are you looking forward to?

That’s a pretty big question because I’m looking forward to sucking back an iced coffee tomorrow morning, but I’m also looking forward to havin’ some babies some day, maybe, I guess? (Probably not? K bye).

I think the most current exciting thing I’m looking forward to is taking more sketch writing classes. Second City has an awesome online writing program for peoples who can’t get out to Chicago. I took all the classes they had for online writing last year and have been staring at my computer screen until they added more classes. SO YAY!

I also got a new phone because ol’ reliable told me to shut up and go to hell. On the upside, now I can make videos for you to giggle or throw up at.

Anyhoo, I’m gonna go smear some chocolate into my mouth.

Until next time, my little gingerspread clams!