Minimalism is Cool and Good, I am Told.

I’ve been trying to downsize all my shit because I almost suffocated under the mass of stuffed animals I had comforting me as I slept. Like every other tiny book loving woman, I too read Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and I too began dumping my belongings  onto the floor, laying on top of the mound, and then shoving them all back in my drawers and deciding to do it another day.

Why do I still have this shirt that doesn’t fit, I don’t wear, and I don’t even particularly like?

Because I saw the Brave Little Toaster and I know my things have FEELINGS and if I abandon them they will die of little broken hearts.

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…or something like that.

I also have a small room in a small apartment with minimal storage so my 47 flannel shirts and 10 pairs of  jeans get folded and crammed into a drawer made for delicate things like  pocket-watches and  handkerchieves.

I have the perfect selections for a capsule wardrobe but what would I do without the 4 giant sweatshirts I never wear? Or the wool sweater I’m allergic to with the giant gnome embroidered on the front? I’ve been entering contests to get a day with an interior decorator who destroys your rented apartment and puts nice trinkets in it that your guests will pick up and think to themselves “Huh, that’s neat…why don’t I have a tin elephant waving a dandelion on my coffee table?”

Yeah, why don’t you?

Hopefully by the end of the week my closet will be 87 pounds lighter and I can turn it into one of those 2×4 reading nooks that you need to leave the door open to or else you’ll lose oxygen after the first chapter.

Okay, it’s time for my 6:30pm ice cream break! K love you bye.

Are You Difficult?

I think I’m difficult. Not a highly attractive quality but I do as Agent Dale Cooper does and I give myself a gift EVERYDAY. Sometimes I give myself MULTIPLE gifts. Coffee. Ice Cream. Lots of TV shows. Magazines. The part that makes me “difficult” is that I ask or get myself what I want. But am I difficult or am I LEANING IN to get the extra piece of pie before anyone else gets it? (That’s what “leaning in” is, right? For food? You gotta lean in for food.)

In what ways are you difficult? Would you call yourself an obsessive personality?

I ask the second part because sometimes my obsessive trait stomps on the little fingers of my difficult trait. I want 400 of the same flannel and I’m going to leave the family party until I get them. Once I do, I will return to the family party but not until my thirst for flannel (or whatever) is quenched.

Have you ever made the mistake of wanting something and letting it go but then realizing you’ve made a grave mistake and can no longer reverse your decision? I try to avoid those moments. Not ALL of them or else this would be a blog about hoarding. ALSO this is not entirely on material items. I get the same way with writing. If I feel I haven’t been creative or let the tension of wanting to write something out, I get a big ball of stress in my chest until I make something of it. Hence this blog where I can dump my crap and humor onto you beloveds.

From a higher sense, maybe it stems from a portion of myself not being fulfilled. That’s when the minor inconveniences start screeching for my attention.

The radio has a commercial. The TV is slightly too loud. The lighting is too dim. Someone is talking to me about the weather.

JUST SHUT UP EVERYONE/THING/APPLIANCE.

Does this affect anyone else or am I just a giant asshole? I’m curious as to what minor inconveniences irritate you.

Okay I love you enjoy the bonfire of my heart.