Boss got you down with his latest fribble-frabble nonsense boss talk?
“You’ve been 20 minutes late every day to work but still put down your overtime when you work 5 minutes passed close.”
*ZOOM * YES AND?
Your boss will be so taken back by your leadership skills, he’ll blankly stare at you (obviously impressed) and never doubt your superiority again!
Kooky coworker questioning your choice to hang up on a client with no valid reason other than they were boring the fuck out of you?
*KAPOW* YES AND, KOOKY SUZY FROM ACCOUNTING?!
If Suzy gets cute and tries to follow up with “…and it’s incredibly inappropriate and not tolerated here” simply place your hand over Suzy’s scrunchy little face and give a gentle love push. Just enough to show YOUR authority but just little enough so she doesn’t call THE authorities. If done correctly, she’ll be overcome with how bold and charming you are and she’ll be totally cool about it.
Tired of a hard mornings work and you’re trying to enjoy a nice sandwich in the breakroom when Tony from HR tries to kill your vibes? “But you’re eating my sandwich—“
*DINGDONG! WHO IS IT?* YES AND, DIRT LICKER, THAT’S WHO!
Don’t mistakeTony’s horrified look for weakness. He’s a snake and snakes can only be killed by shoving sandwiches down their throats. Survival 101. You’re welcome.
*The author of this list cannot be held accountable for any jobs terminated from following the aforementioned instructions. Author must receive 10% of any promotion money earned if acquired.
†Not the be confused with the building block phrase “yes and” that nurtures a healthy and constructive improvisation environment.
Like these tips and want more? Check out our full list of tips from the hot book “Yes And” Your Way to a Promotion, now featured on Amazon Prime!