Songs You Might Die To

Hey Ding-a-lings,

Do you ever been driving and hear a string of your favorite songs on the radio back to back and you think This is great! It’s like these songs are being played for me! Wait, am I about to die?

I had one of those mornings today when I was driving to work early for the first time in two years. I’ve been asking hoping for a sign or something to confirm that I’m not tossing my life away. Here are the songs I heard, links to the videos are in the titles!

Elton John – Honky Cat – This song  reminds me of when I quit the job I hated and moved to a new town, to a new apartment, with no job and  no idea what I was going to do for money. I’ve generally always played it safe so I’m sure my loved ones thought I was losing my mind and I completely understand because I thought I was losing my mind (and doubting if I was going to be able to pull it off.) During the transitional phase of moving out, moving in, and trying to find a job, I kept hearing this song being played on the radio in my car, in stores, and on TV. I put this song on every time I get the thought of Who the hell do you think you are? You can’t do [insert mild challenge]. Works every time.

The Guess Who – Undun – I forgot this song existed until it came on the radio one night when my beloved best friend and I were driving home late from seeing the MICHAEL JACKSON LASER SHOW at the planetarium. After being hurdled through space with Michael blowing our hair back, we were zapped of energy and cruising home to our little beds. The song came on and we both came back to life and all but drove off into the goddamn Mystic. Seems magical to have it come on the radio again within the same week without hearing it for years. Also, I spent a solid 30min investigating this particular video as singer and known time-traveler, Burton Cummings, looks like he just left the Vans store and is on his way to pick up his Radiohead album pre-order, despite the video being recorded in 1974.

Jim Croce – Bad Bad Leroy Brown -After my dad died, I used his car a lot because mine was what one would call a “shitbox.” Every time I would get in it, day or night, this song would always play. It played after I found a $20 in a parking lot. It played after I found a $20 bill on the ground in a hotel a week later. I really had no connection to the song except it just kept playing when I was in his car or when something cool and lucky happened. Then I went to a medium I like to see because she’s hilarious and lovely. I  also happened to be a PA on her television pilot (weird story, for another day). I was at her show and she was clear across the room. She stopped reading the person she was standing in front of (50+ feet away) and looked over in my direction and yelled “LEROY!” I didn’t think anything of it since I don’t know a Leroy and apparently neither did anyone else around me. She shrugged and went back to reading the person and then turned around in my direction again and she said “LEROY? Does anyone know Leroy?” Again, nothing. Then she started bopping up and down singing “Bad, bad, Leroy Brown.”  That’s when I said “Oooohhh” out loud. I ended up getting a very lovely reading from her. She brought stuff up that I completely forgot about so it was nice validation. I believe there are people who do cold readings out there but it you’re a skeptic, go see Maureen and at the very least you’ll get a laugh because she’s very funny and entertaining. I hadn’t heard that song in a while and it was nice to hear again.


So there it is! Songs that mean something! All in a row! Do you have any songs that you hear and go THAT’S ME? Tell me in the comments because I read and love them dearly.

Okay go drink some fruit juice, bye! smooch143xo

SHOWCASE! And Other Emotions.

Hey kittens!

I’m pretty sure it’s only been two days but it’s felt like an eternity since we last looked longingly into our computer screens at one another’s words and stuff.

Fitting, as George Michael’s “Kissing a Fool” is playing in the background. *kisses screen* Is this weird? Shh, I don’t care. Turn down that backlight while I slip into something more comfortable. *sets up gel wrist cushions to prevent tendonitis*.

Anyways, I’ve been really sick the past few days. There’s a Steve Martin quote from his book “Born Standing Up” that talks about how before preforming an important show the nerves you get as a performer can fight off weight gain and illness, yet 24 hours after you’ve finished the show, you succumb to complete exhaustion and flu-like symptoms.

I’m flu-like symptoms. Hold me. Brush my hair. Tell me I look fine with braces.

But look, I kept my promise! I attached a picture of my gems and footwear that I wore at my showcase.

Why yes, those are RingPop shoes with a a bejeweled RingPop necklace.

Apparently the gummy bear knuckle ring was sparkling so brightly that 3 people in the audience were blinded. There might be a class action suit against me but I don’t really know because I make things up.

Being in the green room was fun. Although I sounded like a clydesdale hoofing it up and down the stairs in the RingPop shoes. There was a lot of excited and nervous energy, but I started getting distracted and I could tell the order of my jokes was running away  down the street to the restaurant I knew I’d be eating at after. I had to stand in a corner and face the wall and shout my jokes at the water heater to make sure they didn’t order a salad over the French onion soup. I ended up getting both later, but that’s besides the point.

The theme of my set was babies. Terrible, terrible babies. I felt a little cliche being a ladygirl and talking about all those darn babies that ruin her life. I have better premises, but there are some that I want to spend more time on because they are like my children (not babies though, gross) and I want to nurture them with PopTarts and watch them grow.

But I did well! Minus blanking when I got up on stage! But that’s okay, because my dress had pockets that I nervously shoved my set list in, along with some granola bar crumbs and a straw wrapper.

I changed a lot of my jokes last minute because I wasn’t feeling 100% behind my material (Even though I had 2 months to prepare. I get a sick pleasure out of torturing myself by doing things last minute. And by last minute I mean changing jokes while I’m pacing in the hall waiting to go on.)

I also didn’t tighten the mic stand because I have marshmallow arms. It started to slowly get lower and lower, so I looked like a troglodyte hunching over the big noise boom stick.

But yay!

This was something I always wanted to do, and the only thing I’ve really cared about consistently. I can play about one and a half songs on every instrument known to creation. I’m decent at roller derby. I can brush my cat really well so she doesn’t get hair balls. But stand-up is my favorite thing and has been since elementary school. In my head I have a reputation of being the crazy girl who shows up to everybody’s comedy shows (famous or local) and has a big goofy smile and eyeballs popping out of her face. I’m not crazy just so excited it that it looks crazy. “My Heart Will Go On” just came on the radio. I think that’s a sign that shows my intentions are as pure as a sweaty palm print in a Renault Type CB Coupe de Ville.

Yoouuuu’re heerrre…therreee’s NOOOOTHIN’ I FEEAAR.

Oh shit, my favorite song (“Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’) came on after that. This the best day ever. Dance children, DANCE.

Alright, maybe there is a tinge of whacka-doo, but those are great songs and you know it.

Have a great night, and until next time my little PopSharts!