Online Portfolio and Enya Jokes

I finally put together an online portfolio!  Now all my articles from McSweeney’s, Reductress, xoJane (and more?) are in one place for you to look at or ignore, I don’t care.

This might be my first post since the new year so here’s a picture of me doing standup on New Years Day! This is part of the annual 100 First Jokes show that happens at ImprovBoston. It’s probably more likely 200 First Jokes as every year the amount of comedians that perform grows which is awesome and really exciting and also a reminder to carry hand sanitizer with you in the green room.

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thank you to my friend Joe for capturing my set-up of an enya masturbation joke

I’ve been working on a few new sets including my time at summer camp where I purposely pissed my pants so my mother would have to pick me up and also one about how I’ve been mysteriously ill for a year and got a balloon shoved up my ass in the name of medical science. Dreams do come true.

Speaking of dreams, I’m adding “become the most sought after creative consultant in North America”  to my bucket list. I think it fits nicely with “get my phone shaped like Star Trek’s Starship Enterprise to work” and “ride an orange bike.”

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Alright, that’s all I have to say for now. Here’s the link to –> my portfolio <– again! Click and look and be amazed that I could copy and paste links in an orderly fashion because honestly I was skeptical of my abilities too.

love you BYE xo143

Better Late than Next December

This year SANTA brought me “John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together.” It is precious and darling and here is the best/most-hearbreaking song of the CD. CDs still exist, I checked, it’s real.

I know, I can’t stop crying either. xoxox

Lesser Appreciated BuzzFeed Quizzes

A couple weeks back, when all those BuzzFeed quizzes started popping up, I compiled a list of what I thought might be the lesser appreciated quizzes. Here are some of them!

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Which Member of Congress is Your Spirit Animal?

QUIZ: What State Penitentiary Are You?

Which 8th Century Mongol Are YOU Most Like?

Which Member of Slipknot is Your Soulmate?

What Offensive Justin Bieber Action Are You Really?

The Quiz Quiz: What Quiz Are You?

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I’d take them, but I tend to route for the underdogs.

Until next time, my loveducks.